Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
