final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
