I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
