You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
