What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize
