he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
