maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
How drunk are you?
Completed.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize