belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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