i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
