lets start a swedish sibling band together
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
