So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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