New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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