I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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