I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
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