He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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