Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
