Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Randomize
