he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize