Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
