Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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