so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
