The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
