Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
