At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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