A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
