I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
