Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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