I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I'm just crazy horny about you
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Randomize