Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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