party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Randomize
