Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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