My room smells like vodka and shame
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Randomize
