I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
