He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Blood and glitter go together right?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize