im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
