Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
