ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
