Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
