I think my fart just growled at me.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
