You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
