fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
