i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
