Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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