Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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