when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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