Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
