No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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