i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I have aggressive nipples.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
