I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Randomize
