The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
i just google imaged poop.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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