New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Randomize
