Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
being pregnant is like rehab
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
