I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
