Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize