And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize