What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
