too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
