I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
