cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
