i think my mom watched the whole time
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
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