I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize