he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
